Monday, December 12, 2011

Scandal at Cheemeni!

                                                        The Times of Kerala

                                                        Scandal at Cheemeni

Cheemeni, Kerala
Special Correspondent 

In an otherwise routine and mundane marriage of Ravi's daughter Ashwadhi and Whatchamacallim's son Mr.Who in Cheemeni (a small town in Kannur), all hell broke loose when a 26 year old man walked into the auditorium with a shaven head. According to sources, the man was a near relative from the girl's side. He was immediately hounded by a horde of relatives all of whom had only 1 question in their heads.

Some of them refrained from asking the question directly to avoid mutual awkwardness. So they merely looked at the scantily endowed head and tried hard to talk earnestly about other matters of importance. Like when the coming was done, whether the food was had and when the going will be. However, most others just couldn't hold themselves back. After all, it just begged the question didn't it? A few of the attendees who were people of strong principles, made no secret of their displeasure. They spoke as a representative of the vast majority and admonished the bewildered man who knew not the seriousness of it all.


Some sources also claim that the man's mother who was also at the wedding felt some embarrassment in introducing the son in his bald avatar to other attendees. Some attendees accused the man of deliberately trying to steal the thunder from the newly married couple, while some others were just plain shocked that the man didn't know better than to not wear a cap. When things began to spiral out of control, the accused hastily called a press conference at the marriage venue and promised that he would do everything in his power to come with a better endowed head in future marriages. Onlookers said this was a smart decision which led to the man escaping from the venue scot-free, avoiding a realistic possibility of being a victim of mob fury. After the exit of the accused from the scene of crime, the remaining proceedings of the marriage went ahead smoothly. In a poll conducted  later by our newspaper, it emerged that more people remembered the name of the bald man than of the groom.

PS: (Some portions of the above article may seem exaggerated. If so, that is down to the imbalanced state of mind of the accused whose account of the incident was also considered while this article was written).


8 comments:

  1. LMAO!!
    hahaha loved it vineeth, lol..love the way uv written it, the matter-of-factly hillarious tone :D
    my fave line was "while some others were just plain shocked that the man didn't know better than to not wear a cap"..
    haha i chuckled reading this :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. "A few of the attendees who were people of strong principles, made no secret of their displeasure. They spoke as a representative of the vast majority "

    Brilliant !!

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha...thanks a lot guys :)dunno how many others will relate to this though...lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wont be surprised if all our bald/balding bretheren start receivin customised marriage invitations with disclaimers slapped across the face of the card and a cap stapled to the envelope. Good read :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL. One can imagine the scene. Besides, didn't local news networks cover it as breaking news? ;-)

    Brilliant write!

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete